“Be Curious, Not Judgmental” When Talking about Generosity
“Be Curious, Not Judgmental” When Talking about Generosity
Be curious,
Not judgmental.
- wrongly attributed to Walt Whitman (but voiced by Ted Lasso)
Alrighty. I am jumping, nay leaping on the Ted Lasso for President train. Oh? That’s not a thing? Well, it should be. Ted Lasso for President!
It seems like everyone is writing or talking about the Apple TV+ show, Ted Lasso. Last Saturday, I could hardly wait ‘til my friend came over so we could analyze last week’s episode (so, so good). Then on Monday, my professional colleague-friend from the Lake Institute, Anne Brock, posted about Ted and shared the article, Could ‘Ted Lasso’ be must-see leadership TV?
Heck, even Adam Hamilton, perhaps the best-known United Methodist minister in the land, asked his Facebook followers on September 8 to recount their favorite Ted Lasso scenes (213 comments and counting).
With a total of seven Emmys – four of them in major categories, including Best Comedy – the show’s a powerhouse to be reckoned with.
To recap: Ted Lasso, the coach of the wobbly English Richmond soccer (ahem, football) team, exudes goodness and heart. In Season 1 there are hints that he is a wounded soul (he’s going through a divorce and has a young son living in the US). By Season 2 his pain is laid bare, and yet, it explains his desire to be a decent human being, affirming of others.
My favorite scene? Season 1, Episode 8 – The Dart Scene. No spoilers here but I will forewarn you that there’s some swearing (you know those Brits in pubs). No worries though, Ted is not a potty-mouth.
During this scene, Ted makes famous the mis-attributed but great anyway non-Walt Whitman quote, “Be curious, not judgmental.” The lesson of the darts that goes along with the quote make it most memorable. Take four minutes to enjoy it.
Our collective lives would be so much better if we’d put into practice those four words (along with most of the words of Jesus).
Thinking about generosity…
Consider how we might change the conversation if we were curious rather than judgmental:
Parishioner Pete: “The pastor should never know what I give.”
Judgmental Judy: “Your wrong, the Book of Discipline says it’s OK.”
Curious Cathy: “Tell me why you think that.”
***
Parishioner Pete: “I hate it when ‘they’ preach about money.”
Judgmental Judy: “Sorry. It’s the only way to get people to give.”
Curious Cathy: “Tell me about that…why does it bother you so much?”
***
Parishioner Pete: “It’s my money. No one should make me feel guilty about keeping it.”
Judgmental Judy: “Well, that’s a great attitude. How are we going to keep the church open?”
Curious Cathy: “Sounds like you have a strong relationship with money. I’d be interested in hearing more about what you think.”
***
Rather than alienating, “Be curious, not judgmental” can lead us into relationship. It can draw us closer. It can lead us to fellowship, communion, koinonia if we let it. Sure, it takes time – a lot more time than throwing shade at someone. But the long-term impact for good? That’s what heaven on earth might actually look like.
Be curious, not judgmental.
Ted Lasso for President!
Photo courtesy Apple TV+ TV+################################################Cesie Delve Scheuermann (pronounced “CC Delv Sherman,” yes, really) is a consultant in stewardship, development, and grant writing. For nearly 25 years, while working as a volunteer and part-time consultant, she helped raise over three million dollars for numerous non-profit organizations. Her other favorite “Ted Lasso” character is Roy Kent. He swears like a sailor but is a gem. You can find him dropping the “F” word on YouTube (she might get into trouble for linking it herself...he swears that much). You can reach Cesie at inspiringgenerosity@gmail.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/inspiringgenerosity or at CesieScheuermann.com.
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